Why dads are ready for a different kind of pregnancy book

 

The last 18 months have been truly unprecedented in terms of the change to our; family life, work life, and personal life. In our moments of reflection over that time, there have been things big and small that I’m sure we’ve all learnt about ourselves and those around us, and one of the biggest epiphanies I had was around 12 months ago when I started to see first hand just how much Covid-19 had affected new first time dads.

Those of us with children two years and older probably can’t imagine a pregnancy where we weren’t allowed into scans, weren’t allowed into births at all in some instances and where more extended family didn’t get to see new additions for so long. But that is exactly what happened for first time dads going through pregnancy in the climate of Covid.

It was those direct moments of need from the DaddiLife community that was the first trigger for looking at whether pregnancy books for dads could be even better for modern day dads, and why we’ve spent most of the last year writing our new book, You’re Going To Be A Dad!

Modern day dads have moved on

When I became a dad six years ago, I read a number of books, some of which were fantastic, but all too often said things like ‘just don’t forget to put the beers away’.

It was meant as a humorous quip I’m sure, and while from time to time those quips got a smile, it didn’t really solve the deeper problems and challenges that modern day dads really have. In fact, dads go through so many challenges and things that are often not talked about enough.

The approach we’ve taken

One thing that’s been a huge learning curve for me over the past five years running DaddiLife is that dads put up a brick wall when it comes to their own feelings and emotions. Some of that is due to self-preservation and some of it due to not feeling that they ‘deserve’ to feel a certain way because it’s the mother that, biologically, is going through the most changes.

But these issues, if not addressed, can lead to much deeper and darker issues developing and it’s no wonder that as many as one in ten new dads go through postpartum depression.

It’s a brick wall we’ve wanted to break down for other dads and as a result there are three things that we’ve made sure to do in the book’s creation:

1. Getting more than one dad’s perspective: we’ve interviewed 50 new dads and dads-to-be over the last nine months to get a much more diverse view of fatherhood across the US, UK, Australia and across the EU. These perspectives are used across every chapter and reflect a diverse range of dad experiences in that specific stage of pregnancy or the first year with a new baby.
2. We’ve gone way beyond the surface level issues: we’ve not hidden away from the truths and experiences that dads face. Whether that’s mental health, sympathy pains and their own anxieties over specific parts of the pregnancy and how other dads have managed through those.
3. Covid-19 reflections from the future: because dads’ experiences have been so different, we’ve been sure to include the learnings from dads in restrictions and what they would do differently in any future restriction too.

The key learnings and hopes ahead

As you’d expect, work/life balance has also been a considerable theme throughout the book – how dads have thought through paternity leave and flexible working in particular have been vital reflections.

As we start to go back to office working through hybrid or other forms of ‘return to office’, it’s important that we don’t lose the positive learnings the last 12-18 months have created and there’s so much that new first time dads have experienced that helped to create even stronger dad connections with their children.

Buy You’re Going To Be A Dad!

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