Pragmatic parenting: Changing existing ways of working

Let’s go on a journey together as we explore changing existing ways of working.

Take a moment to think about the following scenario. You have just started a new job in London doing something you haven’t done before – this can be your first job after school or taking a new stretch role.  There is a long list of things to do, but luckily for you, the person you are replacing (let’s call them Steady) is there for a short handover before they move on to bigger and better things.

During the handover, Steady gives you a thorough run down of how they did things and the current process/procedures in place.  One of the longest running tasks is a weekly team meeting from 3 – 4PM on Tuesdays so your colleagues in the US can join.

Fast forward a year and you are thriving in the role – your biggest frustration is that two people on your team in London often seem distracted during the weekly meeting.  It is only after speaking with them at an after-work event do you learn that it is because they pick up their kids at school during the 3 – 4PM timeslot.  Upon learning this, you float the idea to the team to shift the meeting to start at 2PM which everyone is supportive of.

When you ask the team, why hasn’t this come up before, everyone responds with ‘it was the way it’s always been done, and we never thought about needing to change it’, which is the same reason you didn’t change it in your first year.

Now let’s step back and think about how this example applies to parenting. Everyone who is a parent will be a first timer, and under the stress and the long list of new things to learn it is easy to do what you have experienced before – for example, what you witnessed from your parents, how your friends approach it, etc. Parenting is something that once it comes, you do not always have the luxury of time/headspace to step back and think about changing existing ways of doing things.  That being said, I encourage you to make the time to do this as there are often times ‘quick wins’ which take little effort but can make a big difference to you and/or your partner.

As we wrap up today’s journey together, I encourage you to reflect on how this dynamic may impact your personal and professional life.  When things are new and we leverage previous experience, we can easily find ourselves unintentionally travelling on the path of ‘traditional gender norms’ – take the time to reflect on these types of examples, be empowered to raise ideas to change this, and give people the benefit of the doubt if they didn’t think of what may seem like obvious changes.

**Drake Peabody is a global finance leader as well as a Trustee with Equality Starts at Home, a charity focused on creating a world where equality at home is a reality for all.  In addition to this, Drake serves as a Trustee for Village Water, is a member of the Leaders Plus Network Council, and a diversity and inclusion advocate with Men For Inclusion.
 
Drake and his wife, Kara, are both American and have called London home since 2018 and welcomed their son at the end of 2020. In his free time Drake enjoys cooking, spending time with friends and family, going to the cinema, and staying active.

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