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Pragmatic parenting: Carrot vs stick

Using the carrot to achieve a certain end rather than the stick means we get to the same ending point and enjoy the journey more, says blogger Drake Peabody.

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Let’s go on a journey together as we explore the importance of motivating with the carrot vs the stick.

You have probably heard the story about the jockeys racing donkeys – one jockey dangles a carrot in front of the donkey to get it to walk to the destination where the other jockey lashes the donkey with a stick to get it to move. While both jockeys get to the same place with their respective donkeys, the one with the carrots is the winner in a much more relaxed fashion.

The same analogy can be applied both professionally and personally. For example, when our son was born, I wasn’t naturally drawn to giving him a bottle as I had never done it before. When discussing this with my wife, Kara, she helped me understand that by changing my perception and feeding our son a bottle I’d be able to form a special bond with him. This was a great motivator for me. Had I been told it is something I had no choice to do because Kara needed a break, I would have been slower to embrace the feeding process.

There will always be instances where the circumstances don’t yield to using the carrot (for instance, you have a hard deadline at work and someone on your team is dragging their feet), but generally it is a better way to approach getting people to change. This is even more important when you’re engaging with people who are close to you in life, like colleagues you work most frequently with or your partner.

As we wrap up today’s journey together, I encourage you to think about environments in which you can use the carrot more vs the stick. If we get to the same ending point, but we do so with the carrot, instead of the stick, I think we will enjoy the journey more (and probably have better eyesight).

**Drake Peabody is a global finance leader as well as a Trustee with Equality Starts at Home, a charity focused on creating a world where equality at home is a reality for all. In addition to this, Drake serves as a Trustee for Village Water, is a member of the Leaders Plus Network Council, and a diversity and inclusion advocate with Men For Inclusion.

Drake and his wife, Kara, are both American and have called London home since 2018 and welcomed their son at the end of 2020. In his free time Drake enjoys cooking, spending time with friends and family, going to the cinema, and staying active.